Friday, April 29, 2011

And I am against plastic flowers. The real flowers have many differences;
the plastic flowers are permanent — the plastic love will be permanent.
The real flower is not permanent, it is changing moment to moment.
Today it is there dancing in the wind and in the sun and in the rain.
Tomorrow you will not be able to find it — it has disappeared
just as mysteriously as it has appeared.
Real love is like a real flower.

-OSHO

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Again.

I can't stop listening to Raphael Saadiq and Amos Lee and Angus and Julia Stone........ this is good for multiple reasons.... first of all, because they are amazing and make me really happy.... second of all, because they had some serious sentimental value with somebody that introduced them to me.... and not having any sad feelings stirred up while listening is awesome.

Monday, April 18, 2011

Here To Fall


I'm in an acid jazz kinda sound mood I guess.....

2Wicky


This song will always be great. Brings me back to my teenage years......and that awful movie SCREAM or I know what you did last summer maybe, I think... but all that aside.... isn't this a sexy song or what??!?!?!?! sheeesh

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Virginia is for Lovers...

Dear Joe,

Stop being so dang cute, it just makes me miss you more...

Love,
Natasha

PS- "If this works out, it would be the best love story ever..." -Scott (and pretty much every I tell about us...)

Obama

Go to China and you’ll see businesses opening research labs and solar facilities. South Korean children are outpacing our kids in math and science. They’re scrambling to figure out how they put more money into education. Brazil is investing billions in new infrastructure and can run half their cars not on high-priced gasoline, but on biofuels. And yet, we are presented with a vision (in the form of a Republican plan to cut more than $4 trillion in federal spending) that says the American people, the United States of America -– the greatest nation on Earth -– can’t afford any of this.

It’s a vision that says America can’t afford to keep the promise we’ve made to care for our seniors. It says that 10 years from now, if you’re a 65-year-old who’s eligible for Medicare, you should have to pay nearly $6,400 more than you would today. It says instead of guaranteed health care, you will get a voucher. And if that voucher isn’t worth enough to buy the insurance that’s available in the open marketplace, well, tough luck -– you’re on your own. Put simply, it ends Medicare as we know it.

It’s a vision that says up to 50 million Americans have to lose their health insurance in order for us to reduce the deficit. Who are these 50 million Americans? Many are somebody’s grandparents — may be one of yours — who wouldn’t be able to afford nursing home care without Medicaid. Many are poor children. Some are middle-class families who have children with autism or Down’s syndrome. Some of these kids with disabilities are — the disabilities are so severe that they require 24-hour care. These are the Americans we’d be telling to fend for themselves.

And worst of all, this is a vision that says even though Americans can’t afford to invest in education at current levels, or clean energy, even though we can’t afford to maintain our commitment on Medicare and Medicaid, we can somehow afford more than $1 trillion in new tax breaks for the wealthy. Think about that.

From prepared remarks by PRESIDENT OBAMA, outlining a plan to reduce the federal budget.

Think about that.

Friday, April 8, 2011

Life and Music

http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/2dOH8G/www.neticons.net/music_life/

True Love

"Those who love you are not fooled by mistakes you have made or dark images you hold about yourself. They remember your beauty when you feel ugly; your wholeness when you are broken; your innocence when you feel guilty; and your purpose when you are confused."
-Anonymous

P.S. -

Did I mention I got the approval and I am going to Thailand in June to work in refugee camps???????!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

....Well.....

I did.

..and..

I am.

: )

Window Seat



You have got to look at these pictures. They are amazing. Utah is included several times.


Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Afternoon Ride

I biked up City Creek Canyon from my house today. It was amazing!!! I love how good I feel after riding up hills. I love my new road bike too. Scott (my new bike) and I got a good thing going on... this is the beginning of a great summer. I can feel it...

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

When You Love Somebody

"When You Love Somebody and Bite Your Tongue All You Get Is a Mouthful of Blood"



Sunday, April 3, 2011

Surprise Marcus!!!

This weekend was the funnest weekend I have had in a long time.... Friday I went to that great Wye Oak show. Last night I got to attend the best surprise birthday party for Marcus. It was seriously the funnest house party I have ever been to. It was packed and everyone was soooo nice. I have never been to a party where people are not segregated into little groups, and where people want to get to know you and be new friends. Marcus had a really old 35 mm film camera that I got to play around with and document the evening. I was on call until midnight, but when the clock struck 12 Scotty made sure the bottle of Makers Mark touched sweet lips.... mmmmm.... And the group consensus is that I need me a pair of RayBans. I stole James's for a portion of the night. One of the best parts of the evening was the giant snowflakes that came pouring from the sky.... It was magic... Everyone had to go out on the porch and soak in the beauty.

Highlights of the Evening:
1. Christina's dancing. 2. Marcus and Scott are the sweetest people in the world. 3. Epic dance party and music 4. nice people 5. best looking people ever 6. meeting new friends
7. Whiskey 8. pecks for everyone! 9. kicking out the 70's wannabe's 10. snowflakes

.....Here are some really, really cute pictures.....


















Saturday, April 2, 2011

Q.O.D.

"No hurt survives for long without our help, she said & then she kissed me & sent me out to play again for the rest of my life."

The Callers


I also saw this opening band. The Callers. Really great band.
The girl had a killer voice box.

Wye Oak




I saw Wye Oak @ Kilby Court last night.
It was amazing.
I was sitting front row on a plastic box full of audio cables with the beautiful lead singer towering above me. I soaked up every little detail...the interplay between both band members, the cues, the feeding off of each other, the foot work, her fingers working that guitar magic.
Best show I have been to in a while.
Super intimate.
And I got to meet her afterwards (thanks to some encouragement from Ebay).

I love finding new bands.
...It is like you have the best little amazing secret in the world and this treasure is all yours for a little while....






Monday, March 28, 2011

It's all relative.


Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. That's Relativity.
- Albert Einstein
Nobel Prize Laureate (Physics)


Thursday, March 24, 2011

Doctors without Borders

I am going to work for Doctors without Borders someday... soon.


http://www.doctorswithoutborders.org/photogallery/?ref=main-menu

Thailand Update....



I just got approval from all my professors of the next and final semester of nursing school, to go on an expedition to Thailand and Myanmar to work in the refugee camps. June 2-22nd. I still need to petition to the BAAC to get the final go ahead... I will still be able to graduate on time
and have a great experience in Thailand. This is what I want to do with my life.

Global Health.

Cross all your fingers and appendages for me!!!

I AM SO ELATED! I didn't think this was even remotely possible to go... but everything is coming together nicely... thank you universe.

Matt Boyle Art




I just found and then immediately fell in love with this artist. His name is Matt Boyle. He creates all kinds of amazing things including paintings, hand etched copper bracelets, sketches, music, etc. What a talented individual..... and he's hot. yup. Pretty sure he did a video for Andrew Bird.
Here's a link to his blog.

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid. -Albert Einstein

Sunday, March 20, 2011


Let the world change you, and you can change the world.

-The Motorcycle Diaries

Facebook Free LIfe

I have finished 1 whole book which I read entirely for pleasure.

ISHMAEL

Very, Very, Very interesting book.
Full of new perspectives about way of life and the environment.
Highly recommend it.

"The world must live. We are only one species among billions. The gods don't love us any more than they love spiders or bears or whales or water lilies."
Daniel Quinn


Friday, March 18, 2011

Thailand


It's amazing how a few simple yes's can lead to opportunities to something you have always dreamed. When I got back from Peru, I told myself I wouldn't go on another medical travel mission without having a comprehensive medical team with a plan to execute upon arrival. I am sick of the disorganization that so often accompanies the typical medical volunteer abroad programs....

So, my professor Mary called me early one morning to accompany her on a spur of the moment meeting with Amy who also works with refugees. I had 10 minutes to get out of bed and get ready. I almost told her "no" but something in me made me say "yes".

After our meeting, Amy mentioned she was going on a trip to Thailand this summer to work in the Burmese refugee camps. She invited me to come along if I possibly could. Mary's eyes lit up and she really encouraged me to try work things out with school so I would be able to go.

Considering this summer semester is my last, and includes an intensive capstone rotation, I thought my chances were a long shot. However, Mary has really been advocating for me and contacting all the necessary personnel in order to get me to go. She has really gone above and beyond for me.

So, after some leg work and serious persuading... things are looking more in my favor. My Dad has offered up some of his sky miles to pay for the flight. I think I can round up the money necessary to go.

Mary said it would be a once in a lifetime opportunity because it is very difficult to get permission to actually go into refugee camps and work with that population. It is a program in the University of Utah, with departments in Public Health, Occupational Health, and Social Work participating. They would really like a nurse to come along too.

This is what I have dreamed about doing... and now, hopefully, if everything works out... I will be fortunate enough to go. It would be an honor to work alongside these other professionals, and it would be the REAL deal. Pray to the travel gods for me.


Grumpy Old Men


Can I just say how much I love old people?

I was studying at Coffee Garden today and it was packed as always. So, the cutest old guy in the whole world asked if he could share a table with me. How could I say no? He was adorable and wearing plaid. (I have a thing for plaid)

He sat down and started asking me how I felt about the U of U's sports and something about the pac 10. I was embarrassed to admit I didn't know much about it. So, then he asked me about Libya and Japan... I had tons to say. A wonderful conversation blossomed. Finally, someone with something worth while talking about....something other than themselves. It was truly refreshing...

Then his friend, another old man, came and sat at our table. Turns out he is an Anesthesiologist that has traveled all around the world, and done some work in Germany. We talked about traveling, nursing, and a lot of other things.

We talked about books going electronic....and how I can't stand the reading from an electronic medium. I told him I have to use all my senses when I read a book; touch, sight, smell, hearing the pages crinkle as you turn them. Turns out I am sentimental about books. My first friend Roger loved that. Wally was all about technology and the digitalization of our world... We talked about oil, simplifying life, glass eyes and going blind, and even burning shit for fuel.

It was the most interesting conversation I have had in a long time. I love old people.
Meet Gibson. My 5 string long neck lover.

new song I learned on the banjo.... put my own spin on it. It's really fun to play and sing to... and it's sums up life at the moment pretty much.

Don't Think Twice, It's All Right

It ain’t no use to sit and wonder why, babe
It don’t matter, anyhow
An’ it ain’t no use to sit and wonder why, babe
If you don’t know by now
When your rooster crows at the break of dawn
Look out your window and I’ll be gone
You’re the reason I’m trav’lin’ on
Don’t think twice, it’s all right

It ain’t no use in turnin’ on your light, babe
That light I never knowed
An’ it ain’t no use in turnin’ on your light, babe
I’m on the dark side of the road
Still I wish there was somethin’ you would do or say
To try and make me change my mind and stay
We never did too much talkin’ anyway
So don’t think twice, it’s all right

It ain’t no use in callin’ out my name, gal
Like you never did before
It ain’t no use in callin’ out my name, gal
I can’t hear you anymore
I’m a-thinkin’ and a-wond’rin’ all the way down the road
I once loved a woman, a child I’m told
I give her my heart but she wanted my soul
But don’t think twice, it’s all right

I’m walkin’ down that long, lonesome road, babe
Where I’m bound, I can’t tell
But goodbye’s too good a word, gal
So I’ll just say fare thee well
I ain’t sayin’ you treated me unkind
You could have done better but I don’t mind
You just kinda wasted my precious time
But don’t think twice, it’s all right

-Bob Dylan

Ragnar Napa Valley


I just signed up to do Ragnar Napa Valley with some really great gals and guys....The last Ragnar I did in Arizona was a life changing experience. Totally amazing. I am amazed at what the human body can endure and accomplish.

I have 6 months to train and get in the best shape ever. I am excited to have a goal to work toward, something to train for, and for the culmination in September in wine country. Plus, the new Ragnar medals are awesome, and I know it wants to be friends with my first Ragnar medal. I can picture it now.... getting in the zone running alongside HWY 1 and the gorgeous Pacific.

My last experience in wine country was incredible. Picture Perfect. We drove down HWY 1, we ate fresh crab in little shacks, we tasted so much wine and loaded up our trunk with it, we stopped at every brewery we saw, we whale watched from the beach, we camped, and stayed in a plush hotel to top it off. It was really great, and I have always wanted to go back.

And while I am there, why not scope it out as a place to live as a brand new nurse?

So excited about this.


Gimme some Shug!!!


mmmmmmmmmmmm hmmmmmmmmmmmmm......

Thursday, March 17, 2011

I applied for a TICU/CCU nursing job in Melbourne, Australia....
it's a long shot...
but just throwing it out there...
you never know what'll come back....

Intoxicated with prosperity...


"But for all we’ve lost, hope is in fact one thing we Japanese have regained. The great earthquake and tsunami have robbed us of many lives and resources. But we, who were so intoxicated with our own prosperity, have once again planted the seed of hope. So I choose to believe."

-Ryu Murakami

http://www.nytimes.com/2011/03/17/opinion/17Murakami.html

Life After Facebook.

I deleted my Facebook. Why? Because it's a self indulgent time suck, and I wanted to see what wonderful productive things I could do in the hours I would normally be dumping on the social network. People should be reading about what is going on in this crazy freaking world, about real things that matter, not obsessing about how their profile page looks or conjuring up the next witty thing to say after they have had hours to think about it.

It's phony. It's kitsch.

Everyone I care about is a real part of my life. I can touch them, hug them, talk to them face to face. That is what real human connection is all about. I fear that virtuality is replacing all that is real. If my "friends" want to see how/what I am doing they make an effort to be a real part of my life and they can call me or come over. I would never meet--> date anyone on Facebook. And I have had some really strange friend requests lately. To me, Facebook is strangely reminiscent of Myspace now. Everyone and their dog is on Facebook. And lord knows how I hate to follow the crowd.

The one and only thing that was keeping me on Facebook was the ability to stay in touch with the many lovely people I have met traveling... luckily I can reactivate my account if I were to travel again or need to make contact with my friends around the world.

I will admit it does have it good points as far as getting people together for certain causes and events...I am not a total Facebook hater. I just need a long hiatus. I want to disappear. I am sick of the scene here anyway. Salt Lake City is getting much too small for my taste.

So, for now, so long virtual world. Adios. Ciao. Arevafuckingderci.... Here 's to my personal liberation from the bullshit.

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Monday, March 14, 2011

Sex, Love, and Death

"Fireflies out on a warm summer's night, seeing the urgent, flashing, yellow-white phosphorescence below them, go crazy with desire; moths cast to the winds an enchantment potion that draws the opposite sex, wings beating hurriedly, from kilometers away; peacocks display a devastating corona of blue and green and the peahens are all aflutter; competing pollen grains extrude tiny tubes that race each other down the female flower's orifice to the waiting egg below; luminescent squid present rhapsodic light shows, altering the pattern, brightness and color radiated from their heads, tentacles, and eyeballs; a tapeworm diligently lays a hundred thousand fertilized eggs in a single day; a great whale rumbles through the ocean depths uttering plaintive cries that are understood hundreds of thousands of kilometers away, where another lonely behemoth is attentively listening; bacteria sidle up to one another and merge; cicadas chorus in a collective serenade of love; honeybee couples soar on matrimonial flights from which only one partner returns; male fish spray their spunk over a slimy clutch of eggs laid by God-knows-who; dogs, out cruising, sniff each other's nether parts, seeking erotic stimuli; flowers exude sultry perfumes and decorate their petals with garish ultraviolet advertisements for passing insects, birds, and bats; and men and women sing, dance, dress, adorn, paint, posture, self-mutilate, demand, coerce, dissemble, plead, succumb, and risk their lives.

To say that love makes the world go around is to go too far. The Earth spins because it did so as it was formed and there has been nothing to stop it since. But the nearly maniacal devotion to sex and love by most of the plants, animals, and microbes with which we are familiar is a pervasive and striking aspect of life on Earth. It cries out for explanation. What is all this in aid of? What is the torrent of passion and obsession about? Why will organisms go without sleep, without food, gladly put themselves in mortal danger for sex? ... For more than half the history of life on Earth organisms seem to have done perfectly well without it. What good is sex?... Through 4 billion years of natural selection, instructions have been honed and fine-tuned...sequences of As, Cs, Gs, and Ts, manuals written out in the alphabet of life in competition with other similar manuals published by other firms. The organisms become the means through which the instructions flow and copy themselves, by which new instructions are tried out, on which selection operates.

'The hen,' said Samuel Butler, 'is the egg's way of making another egg.' It is on this level that we must understand what sex is for. ... The sockeye salmon exhaust themselves swimming up the mighty Columbia River to spawn, heroically hurdling cataracts, in a single-minded effort that works to propagate their DNA sequences into future generation. The moment their work is done, they fall to pieces. Scales flake off, fins drop, and soon--often within hours of spawning--they are dead and becoming distinctly aromatic.

They've served their purpose.

Nature is unsentimental.

Death is built in."
Carl Sagan (Shadows of Forgotten Ancestors: Earth Before Humans)

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

"In un mondo di ciechi un orbo è re."

Effigy

If you come to find me affable
Build a replica for me
Would the idea to you be laughable
Of a pale facsimile?

So will you come to burn an effigy?
It should keep the flies away
And when you long to burn this effigy
It should be of the hours that slip away, slip away

It could be you, it could be me
Working the door, drinking for free
Carrying on with your conspiracies
Filling the room with a sense of unease

Fake conversations on a nonexistent telephone
Like the words of a man who's spent a little too much time alone
When one has spent too much time alone

So will you come to burn my effigy?
It should keep the flies away
If you long to burn an effigy
It should be of a man whose has lost his way, slips away

It could be you, it could be me
Working the door, drinking for free
Carrying on with your conspiracies
Filling the room with a sense of unease

Fake conversations on a nonexistent telephone
Like the words of a man who's spent a little too much time alone
When one has spent too much time alone

-Andrew Bird

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

If you're hearts already broken then it's easier to give others pieces of it

_Ebay Jamil Hamilton (genius quote master)

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Music is good for the soul. And soul is good for the music.

-Ebay Jamil Hamilton (genius quote master)

A taste of the future.


One of my biggest dreams of all, and really the end goal to all my nursing endeavors, is to get involved with Global Health initiatives. This dream blossomed during a trip to Belize. It was my first time out of the United States, and I saw the huge need for health care services for the locals.

Each time I travel, this need is something that is continually reinforced as a major issue in this world. So many people living on this planet don't have access to quality care, and therefore have to overcome an unfair disadvantage. An integral part to a life of quality is one's health. Without health, one is severely limited and unable to contribute to the greater good.

Albert Einstein was a key player in the International Rescue Committee that serves refugees from all over the world. He is really one of my biggest heros. Not only was he a genius, he was a humanitarian. One of my favorite things he has ever said is, "The life of the individual has meaning only insofar as it aids in making the life of every living thing nobler and more beautiful. Life is sacred, that is to say, it is the supreme value, to which all other values are subordinate."

Recently, I have been doing some volunteer work with the refugee and Spanish population at Hartland in West Valley. I met with the Burundi (think Rwanda--Hutus and Tutsi bloodshed) leader last week to discuss a project involving a presentation about how and what to eat here in the United States in order to maintain good health. His father has recently had a stroke that the doctor linked to poor diet and high blood pressure. He told me that many of them have never seen or tasted the fruits and vegetables we have here. He said his people are eating a lot of meat and fast food thinking it's good for them simply because they are in America and so it must be healthy and good.

I have 2 weeks to prepare a interactive, fun presentation for the Burundi people. I have 90 minutes to try to teach them about nutrition. Normally, I hate public speaking. Nothing can raise my blood pressure more than standing in front of a group of people and being the center of attention. However, this time I am really excited. I feel really passionate about what we are trying to accomplish, and it is a skill I need to develop if I want to help people across the world.

I can't even describe how full of love my heart feels when I am working with the refugees. I am learning many things and making many contacts that will put me on the right path to make another one of my giant dreams a reality. Here's to big dreamin' and to following (and listening) to your heart....








Sunday, February 27, 2011

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Postcards from Tiny Islands

Many nights
Dwindle by
Midnight moons on the rise
My heavy head’s going light
So I’ll go home and sleep tonight

I’m walking tonight
About as far as I can go
I listen to the last song
By the windows

Here’s to you and the stars above
The half moon and your pretty eyes
And here’s to you and the setting sun
The bar men and their sorry songs

I’ll be drunk before too long
And I’ll keep up in case I can talk
This really don’t say it all
There’s too much to enclose
These postcards from tiny islands
Mean more than you know

So here’s to you and the ground below
The grass bar and the empty sky
I’m walking tonight
About as far as I can go
The marble was stolen
The midnight moon halos
This really don’t say it all
It’s too much to enclose
Life is so easy now
Everything is working out
Highways are flying by

-The Walkmen
"Knowing is not enough; we must apply.
Willing is not enough; we must do.”
—Goethe

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

"Real love never ends, relationships do. Everyone I have ever loved, I still love, and I always will."

-Ebay Jamil

Monday, February 14, 2011

Happy V Day


It's hard to say the right words without practice, I said & she whispered in my ear, Say them as many times as you like & we practiced late into the night.

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Plans.

I don't know how long I can do this, he said. I think the universe has different plans for me & we sat there in silence & I thought to myself that this is the thing we all come to & this is the thing we all fight & if we are lucky enough to lose, our lives become beautiful with mystery again & I sat there silent because that is not something that can be said.

Learned 2 new songs on banjo....



Sunday, January 23, 2011

My Favorite Poem... maybe ever.


The Invitation

Oriah Mountain Dreamer
Canadian Teacher and Author



It doesn't interest me what you do for a living
I want to know what you ache for
and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing.

It doesn't interest me how old you are
I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool
for love
for your dreams
for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon...
I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow
if you have been opened by life's betrayals
or have become shrivelled and closed
from fear of further pain.

I want to know if you can sit with pain
mine or your own
without moving to hide it
or fade it
or fix it.

I want to know if you can be with joy
mine or your own
if you can dance with wildness
and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your
fingers and toes
without cautioning us to
be careful
be realistic
to remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn't interest me if the story you are telling me
is true.
I want to know if you can
disappoint another
to be true to yourself.

If you can bear the accusation of betrayal
and not betray your own soul.
If you can be faithless
and therefore trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see Beauty
even when it is not pretty
every day.
And if you can source your own life
from its presence.

I want to know if you can live with failure
yours and mine
and still stand on the edge of the lake
and shout to the silver of the full moon,
"Yes."

It doesn't interest me
to know where you live or how much money you have.
I want to know if you can get up
after a night of grief and despair
weary and bruised to the bone
and do what needs to be done
to feed the children.

It doesn't interest me who you know
or how you came to be here.
I want to know if you will stand
in the center of the fire
with me
and not shrink back.

It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom
you have studied.
I want to know what sustains you
from the inside
when all else falls away.

I want to know if you can be alone
with yourself
and if you truly like the company you keep
in the empty moments.

My Favorite Things Right Now

1. Andrew Bird and Dan Auerbach on vinyl
2. Homemade granola
3. Yoga everyday
4. Hippie pants
5. Catching up with old friends
6. Green
7. Hummus
8. Night walks
9. Poetry
10. Dark Chocolate (Amano 6, Sea Salt, Chili)
11. Good Heep hop (hip hop)
12. RJD2, Little Dragon, Laserfang, and Interpol are coming!
13. Free tickets to #12
14. Making new friends
15. Being really happy.

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Bitches.

There's so much more that we could be doing with our lives than worrying about what we look like. We could be doing so much to make the world a better place. We need to raise women and girls to support each other and not be threatened by others success.

-Radioactive, KRCL show, Sundance Film Festival Movie 2011

Traveling Alone

http://matadornetwork.com/bnt/2008/04/17/10-things-to-learn-about-yourself-when-traveling-alone/
In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay
an invincible summer.
- Albert Camus

Monday, January 17, 2011

Serendipity

an aptitude for making desirable discoveries by accident

Comptine d'une autre été - l'apres midi



Yann Tiersen-

I am learning this song on the banjo. It's gorgeous.
"The river flowed from century to century, and human affairs play themselves out on its banks. Play themselves out to be forgotten the next day, while the river flows on. "
— Milan Kundera (The Unbearable Lightness of Being)

God hates me.

This week blows. God killed my beloved 120 GB ipod full of delicious music, and my favorite dog(probably putting him down this week), broke my car ($400 later...fixed), got 2 really nice boys mad at me (okay I take responsibility for that one...you are out on that one God, but I hold you accountable for the rest!)

Thanks a lot.

They say bad things come in 3's. I put in mine for 2011. Done. No more.

Please and thank you.

"oh... you died for our sins? what have you done for me lately??" -JESSE DUNN

Sunday, January 16, 2011

Music Monday is back bitches!

The uncoolest kids ever singing about cool kids.
Cause cool kids... they belong together.

Friday, January 14, 2011

Serenity NOW

Meditation
is not about
building yourself up
or trying to be a certain way.

It is not about becoming
a peaceful person
or a wise person
or even an enlightened person.

In meditation
you simply become aware
of what is here.

You turn your focus
back upon yourself
and notice what presents itself.

If you do this,
the ego structure
begins to be peeled away.

Behind all the desires,
distractions, opinions,
beliefs, worries
and emotions.

Behind everything
that the mind has built
upon itself
in order to feel important
and in control
is something
overwhelmingly tender
and vulnerable.

Even painful.

A sense of being
very small and alone
and all of the fear
and helplessness
that goes with it.

And by survival instinct,
you don't want to feel it,
you don't want to see it.

The very drive of the ego
is to get as far away
from this vulnerability as possible.

You want to fit in
or at least stand out.

Nobody wants to be a nobody.

But if you can allow yourself
to feel it.

If you can surrender and
allow yourself to be that small
helpless nobody.

If you allow it all to be as it is
at the very core,
then you fall into the essence
which is behind it.

You become immersed
in what is behind it.

And that is love,
that is peace.

You do not have love and peace
as though it was an object to attain,
you dissolve into it.

It bubbles up
from your essence
and spills into
every level of your being
because you have let go
of the very idea of
trying to be a someone.

Politics as Usual.

FEUDALISM: You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk.

PURE SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else's cows. You have to take care of all of the cows. The government gives you as much milk as you need.

BUREAUCRATIC SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and put them in a barn with everyone else's cows. They are cared for by ex-chicken farmers. You have to take care of the chickens the government took from the chicken farmers. The government gives you as much milk and eggs as the regulations say you need.

FASCISM: You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to take care of them and sells you the milk.

PURE COMMUNISM: You have two cows. Your neighbors help you take care of them, and you all share the milk.

RUSSIAN COMMUNISM: You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but the government takes all the milk.

CAMBODIAN COMMUNISM: You have two cows. The government takes both of them and shoots you.

DICTATORSHIP: You have two cows. The government takes both and drafts you.

PURE DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. Your neighbors decide who gets the milk.

REPRESENTATIVE DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. Your neighbors pick someone to tell you who gets the milk.

BUREAUCRACY: You have two cows. At first the government regulates what you can feed them and when you can milk them. Then it pays you not to milk them. Then it takes both, shoots one, milks the other and pours the milk down the drain. Then it requires you to fill out forms accounting for the missing cows.

PURE ANARCHY: You have two cows. Either you sell the milk at a fair price or your neighbors try to take the cows and kill you.

LIBERTARIAN/ANARCHO-CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.

SURREALISM: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Come and see that someone exactly like you has never existed before and never will again.
-Rumi
I'm really really really really really really really really really happy right now.
Life is so good.
Thank you.

Home


Home is where the heart is.

My first night back I went to my friends cabin in the mountains and experienced a major jam session. We were just hanging out by the fire.... and people started playing for a good few hours... then there was more hanging out. and sleep... but we had 2 banjos, 2 guitars, and a mandolin. It was beautiful. We were singing the good old stuff such as the Byrds and Bob Dylan....the Beatles....Neil Young.... and also Ryan Adams, Amos Lee....

These people were all so musically talented. Someone could just start playing and the other would feed off of them and join in adding their own spin on things. Emily, Tim, and Matt have voices of angels...BEAUTIFUL way to spend my first night home....6 ft of snow in the mountains in a beautiful cabin with great people. And a lot of laughs... especially at Jeremy in his cheetah pajamas (homeless jungle cat).

My first day of school was great too. I got to see all my friends. I sported my new Peruvian garb...gave away some bracelets from Peru. Got a lot of hugs. It was great.

After we went to Coffee Garden and Yoga. Then Ashley and I went to her house and made healthy food for the week and went for an awesome night walk where we came full circle with a really interesting, deep conversation about organized religion, sheltering, suffering, relationships, life. I wrote down songs for play lists and some good poetry she showed me.

Also, I started a vision board for what I want in my life this year. Thursday we are going to a documentary about Bob Dylan at Brewvies.

This is the good stuff.